To Madame d'Epinay, Naples, 31 August, 1771

 
You, my dear lady, have done me a terrible wrong. I saw that a big package arrived from you; I enjoyed the thought of it in advance; I imagined the longest letter in the world, and instead of finding that you wrote me, I found that you had transcribed a selection from Voltaire to send to me. To avenge myself, I may transcribe a selection from my prayer book to send you. I admit that the bit about curiosity from Voltaire is superb, sublime, new, and true. I admit also that he would be right in everything if he didn't forget that curiosity is a passion, or, if you like, a feeling excited in us once we feel a perfect secuirty and don't occupy ourselves anymore with ourselves: that is the origin of all spectacles... (skipping over some)... it's a feeling particular to man, unique in him, which he has in common with no other animal. Animals don't have quite the same idea. Do in front of a troupe of sheep anything you want; if you don't touch them, they're not interested in you. If animals give some sign of curiosity, it's because they are frightened, and nothing else. One can frighten animals, one cannot make them curious. However, according to what I said, fear is opposed to curiosity. If curiosity is impossible for animals, a curious human being is therefore more of a human being than a non-curious one: and this is in fact true. Newton was so curious that he looked for the cause of the movement of the moon, the sea, etc.. The most curious people therefore are more human than other people. That is the most beautiful praise that has ever been made of the idlers in Paris. This idea is profound, and I haven't the time to detail it to you. Without a doubt, Voltaire didn't have to write as fast in his article on curiosity. He wrote better, because he knows his language; but if you want to take the pains to develop what I've scrawled, you will find a great piece of the human heart; man, the curious animal; man, susceptible to spectacles. Nearly all the sciences are only curiosities, and the key to everything is a base of safety and a situation without suffering in the curious animal... (skipping over a few sentences where he asks her to say hello to friends)... Good night, I am short on time. I embrace you.
 

Sie, meine liebe Dame, haben mir ein furchtbares Unrecht angetan. Ich sah, dass ein großes Paket von Ihnen ankam; ich genoss den Gedanken daran im Voraus; ich stellte mir den längsten Brief der Welt vor, und statt zu finden, dass Sie mir schrieben, fand ich, dass Sie eine Auswahl aus Voltaire abgeschrieben hatten, um sie mir zu schicken. Um mich zu rächen, werde ich vielleicht eine Auswahl aus meinem Gebetbuch abschreiben, um sie Ihnen zu schicken.

 ... Ich habe ein Buch im Kopf, das meine Phantasie ziemlich überhitzt; ich würde es gerne machen, aber ich habe keine Zeit. Der Titel würde lauten: Moralische und politische Anweisungen einer Katze an ihre Kleinen, aus dem Katzensprachlichen ins Französische übersetzt von M. d'Egrattigny, Dolmetscher der Katzensprachen an der Bibliothek des Königs. Da ich keine andere Gesellschaft als die meiner Katze habe, träume ich ständig von diesem Werk, das sehr originell wäre. Zuerst lehrt die Katze ihre Kleinen, die Gottmenschen zu fürchten; dann lehrt sie sie die Theologie und die zwei Prinzipien, den guten Gottmenschen und den bösen Dämonenhund; dann lehrt sie sie die Moral, den Krieg mit den Ratten und den Spatzen, und dann spricht sie zu ihnen über das zukünftige Leben in der himmlischen Ratopolis, einer Stadt, deren Mauern aus Parmesankäse, die Böden aus Butter, die Säulen aus Fischen usw. bestehen und die voller Ratten ist, die zu ihrem Vergnügen bestimmt sind. Sie würde Respekt vor den kastrierten Katzen einflößen, die die prädestinierten Katzen sind, die von den Gottmenschen in diesen Zustand gerufen wurden, um in dieser und in der anderen Welt glücklich zu sein; seht, wie fett sie sind; und aus diesem Grund müssen sie keine Mäuse jagen; und schließlich würde sie die vollkommenste Resignation empfehlen, falls der Gottmensch sie in diesen Zustand der Vollkommenheit rufen sollte. Gibt es etwas Verrückteres auf der Welt als dieses Werk?...

 

       ... I have a book in mind that is quite overheating my imagination; I would like to make it, but I haven't the time. It's title would be: Moral and political instructions of a cat to his little ones, translated from cat into French by M. d'Egrattigny, interpreter of cat languages at the library of the King. Since I have no other society except for that of my cat, I am always dreaming of this work, which would be very original. At first, the cat teaches his littles ones to fear the god-men; then he teaches them theology and the two principles, the good god-man and the evil demon-dog; then it would teach them morality, war with rats and sparrows, and she would then speak to them about the future life in the celestial Ratopolis, which is a city where the walls are made of parmesan cheese, the floors of butter, the columns of fish, etc., and which is full of rats destined for their amusement. She would inculcate respect for the castrated cats, who are the predestined cats, called into this state by the god-men to be happy in this world and in the other; witness how fat they are; and it is for this reason that they don't have to chase mice; and finally, she would recommend the most perfect resignation, in case the god-man might call them into this state of perfection. Is there anything in the world more mad than this work?...    

 

To Madame d'Epinay, Naples, 16 January 1773 

Your health annoys more than worries me: you are at a critical age; you have been suffering for a long time and you are not dead: therefore, you won't die; therefore, you will arrive at the extreme old age when people begin to think, which is ten years short of when people begin to vegetate. Therefore, let's talk about gay things...